Wedding planning can be full of so much excitement and positivity, but it can also be the source of intense stress and anxiety amongst engaged couples. There are many factors that contribute to this, including family dynamics and unwanted opinions, difficulty making decisions and budget among other things.

While my main goal as a wedding planner is to provide a calm and level-headed wedding planning experience focused on vendor management and design, I often find that I tend to take on the role of therapist a lot more than I ever anticipated. As an empathetic person who is well versed in weddings, I tend to take on this role with ease, however, I’m definitely not a certified professional.

The good news is I do KNOW a certified professional and she is here to help! I have collaborated with friend and former client, Marta, of Artemis Counselling, to provide you with some tips to cope with wedding planning stress!

While I’ll always be there for my clients to hold their hands through the ups and downs, these tips can be used as a foundation for creating a calm wedding planning experience.

Take it away, Marta!

Meet Marta, founder of Artemis Counselling, an inclusive and holistic therapy practice based in Hamilton, Ontario. Marta has over 7 years experience helping people overcome crisis, heal from hardships and reach their goals. Her specialties include relationship difficulties, anxiety & depression, eating disorders and people with perfectionist tendencies. She has also been a bride herself and understands very well the ins and outs of what it takes to plan a wedding.

SO, where does all of this stress stem from?

According to a 2021 survey of 500 engaged or newlywed couples, 40 percent of couples categorized wedding planning as “extremely stressful” while 71 percent thought it was more nerve-wracking than other major life events like finding a new job.

Interesting enough - organizing an event for 120 people and spending a considerable amount of money are not usually the source of stress (especially if you have Lindsay on your team). That’s the fun stuff. It’s what the celebration symbolizes – a change of roles. A step into a formal partnership (it doesn’t matter how long you have been together or if you live together). Traditions we use today come from ancient Egypt and Rome – we’re using 3000 year old traditions to symbolize the change. Expectations can seem high— No pressure, right?

Not to mention you are doing this with your family, and friends , you are the focal point of attention and expectations are that you are meant to be happy throughout all of it. Sounds magical right?

Now that you know some of the reasons why you are stressing out— Let’s chat about what can you do about it!

First things first, How do you want to feel on your wedding day?

Joyful, in love, blissful or the opposite, anxious and full of worry? I mean it’s obvious –let those positive feelings that you want to have during the day be a North Star during stresses that come up. If you are worried about details or conflicting family members, set the intention of how you want feel on your wedding day instead and let that be your focus.

Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks:

Oversight of every single detail for a couple might be possible, but not reasonable or practical. Let your vendors work their magic. Trust that you have picked the right people to do the job you have asked them to. Call on the wedding party and/or planner to pick up tasks when you are feeling overwhelmed. You have people to lean on so use them!

When working through your plans, let go of what you can’t control (easier said than done, right?):

Understanding control is important and you can build on the previous two suggestions here. Relinquishing control and having a clear understanding of what you can control will help you to genuinely enjoy the planning process. Not trusting people to do things the way you want, obsessing over place settings and worrying about your newly sober aunt or divorced parents, are all energy drains. Prioritize choices and actions you can control. Enjoy choosing your dress, picking your favourite songs. Know that despite how much you try – you cannot control every single detail or other people’s behaviour!

Seek additional help:

Are the previous suggestions not enough? No worries – ask for help. Ask your planner for a pep talk (Lindsay gave me a great one when I was feeling overwhelmed the week before my wedding). Have a date with your parent to connect and talk things through or call your BFF to vent. That said, sometimes there are bigger issues, worries and emotions that come up that can get in the way of really enjoying the planning process. Some of these things might be: unresolved family conflict, constant anxious thoughts, mood changes and issues concerning the individual you are marrying.

The Artemis Counselling team is here for you during this exciting and often stressful time. We are dynamic practitioners that have experience working with family conflict, anxiety, and relationship issues. We will help you prioritize you and your partner’s feelings to ensure you are present during the process to get the most bliss out of your day. Partner with us to facilitate personal growth during this transitional time and feel your best on your wedding day!