I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, wedding planning can be overwhelming. There are so many “rules” when it comes to planning, but for the most part we can totally throw them out the window (in my opinion).

Certain traditions exist from long ago, but these days your wedding day can look how ever the heck you want it to look. Our parents and grandparents may sometimes have very different ideas of what a wedding “should” look like, but welcome to 2021— Things are very different now (pandemic aside).

I’m always a fan of a traditional wedding, don’t get me wrong, BUT I find that when you do your own thing, the day turns out to be so much sweeter and just a touch more personal. Most couples that I speak with have two main priorities: the “I do’s” and the PARTY. This being said, why not skip a bunch of the traditions that fall in between and really ENJOY the day!

I recently hosted a very in-depth and scientific Instagram poll about which wedding traditions should stay and which should go away! It turns out there are 6 traditions that the votes proved we could consider ditching and just 3 we should opt to include in the wedding day timeline (and when I say “should”, I mean do what’s right for you!).

Bouquet/ Garter Toss: The dreaded “all the single ladies report to the dance floor” announcement happens. There’s 2 of you. What a thrill. Times have changed and not every woman’s goal in life is to get married and have babies so some might feel slightly offended by having to participate in this part of the night. The garter toss can be slightly uncomfortable too. Not totally sure Grandma wants to see your new hubby getting all up under your dress: isn’t that what wedding night is for? The bouquet/ garter toss CAN be fun, don’t get me wrong, however it sometimes just ends up killing the mood on the dance floor and singles out all of your friends who don’t have a ring on their finger. I know I sound like a negative Nancy so, this all being said, if your friends are into it, it can be fun and HILARIOUS to watch and if you have your heart set on it for some great photos by all means do it.

Cake Cutting: This is a tradition that I almost always get asked about when creating the wedding day timeline— “Do we HAVE to do that?”. Well, the answer, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, is absolutely NOT!

“Along with the first dance and bouquet toss, this charming tradition is one of those photo opportunities that graces every wedding album. The cake cutting represents the first activity done as a couple, although historically the bride did this act alone to symbolize the loss of her virginity.”- The Spruce Eats Blog

Cutting the wedding cake is merely just a photo op and often I find that it happens so quickly, most guests don’t even notice it. Sometimes, adding in the cake cut can throw off your caterer’s cutting and serving schedule a bit too, so, if you really don’t have a desire to add this to your plans, ditch it!

Saving the top layer of cake: This tradition, like most of the others, has evolved over the years. Most couples save the top tier of their cake and enjoy it on their one year anniversary as a memory of the day.This is one of those traditions that I do find very sweet (no pun intended)! However, saving the top tier means a) ordering extra cake and b)having to remember to bring the cake home with you at the end of the night. A great way around this is to wait until a few weeks before your anniversary and order something fresh from your wedding cake artist. If you go to the same pastry chef who created your wedding cake or cupcakes, they will likely be able to duplicate your wedding day sweets for you to enjoy (but on a much smaller scale!).

Kissing Games: The reason kissing games became trendy is because most venues do not allow for glass- clinking anymore due to breakage etc. Kissing games are often now used to add a level of entertainment to your dinner along with the obvious— To get the couple to kiss. Let’s be real though, you just said “I do” to the love of your life, I’m not sure you need to be convinced to kiss on your wedding day! If you are looking to add some excitement to the dinner portion of your evening, consider playing an interactive game like the Shoe Game which is hilarious and fun for everyone!!

Bridal Party Entrance: Unless your squad is extremely outgoing or back-up dances for Beyonce, this is something that you could consider ditching. I always find that the wedding party gets a bit squeamish when we line up for their grand entrance. After all, that room full of loved ones is here to see the freshly married couple and having all eyes on them might make your wedding party feel a bit awkward. I also sometimes find that this can take away from that special moment for the newlyweds! This is your time to shine so why not make it extra personal and embrace your 30 seconds of fame!

Long Speeches: I’ll start by saying that speeches are a WONDERFUL portion of the wedding reception. These are the moments when all of the love gets spilled to and from your closest family and friends and often are some of the sweetest parts of the day. When it comes to speeches, I say keep them BUT make sure you tell your speakers to keep them short (2-3 mins MAX). If you have multiple speeches happening throughout your dinner and you do not give a firm time limit, this can totally throw off your dinner service and delays your dancefloor time! Not to mention guests can start getting a little restless if multiple people keep coming up to the podium for lengthy love- fests.

Alright, now that we’ve gone through the things you can consider ditching, let’s get to the few wedding traditions that the Instagram world voted to keep!

Something borrowed, blue, old and new: This tradition is one that I personally LOVE. What a beautiful way for you and your loved ones to incorporate truly personal touches into your day. Additionally, this is a wonderful way to honour and feel connected to those who may have passed. All in all, this is one of my favourite wedding day traditions!

First dance(s): Wedding day is BUSY and honestly, the first dance might end up being one of the first moments you get to spend a solid 2-3 minutes holding your new husband/wife! I often find that couples feel nervous about this moment, having all eyes on them For. An. Entire. Song. Trust me when I say that you likely won’t even notice and you will appreciate this special time with your love! Pro Tip: jump right into your first dance following your grand entrance to the reception— your makeup will be in tact, your guests will be engaged and you won’t be dancing on a full stomach!

First Look : Some feel very strongly about the first look being a major wedding day no-no and that’s okay. One piece of advice as you decide on this is that if your partner feels very strongly about not wanting to see you until that walk-down-the-aisle moment, listen to them! If neither of you has a preference then I have a couple of reasons why you should consider it:

A first look eases any pre- ceremony jitters you may be feeling. It allows you to spend a few quiet minutes alone with your soon-to- be husband or wife and will 100% NOT kill that walking down the aisle moment feeling you’ve been anticipating.
A first look benefits your wedding day timeline by easing the pressure to rush wedding party photos and portraits. If you have these to-dos ticked off before the ceremony, this gives you and your squad more time to enjoy the cocktail hour!

Well, there you have it. Your list of wedding traditions to include (or not!) in your wedding day timeline. Remember that your wedding day is yours and yours alone so include the things that will ensure you have the most memorable day!

Happy Planning!

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